Whew, I made it. I got a post in while it’s still my hubby’s birthday. The older we find ourselves getting, the less we care to celebrate birthdays. Never too old to share some love and kind words however. This ones for you my love.
I never thought I’d get married, or have a boyfriend for that matter. Not for the reason you may think though. Around the tough age of 13, I thought to myself “who would marry or date me?” I couldn’t phatham the idea that someone with a choice to date any girl with two hands would spend any time looking in my direction. How could they? Why would they? I had an imperfection-enough said at that age. It was hard enough growing up with a name like Danahia-thanks mom. No, I love it now, really, thanks mom.
It didn’t stop at that age. It continued into the first two years of high school. The kids turned into young adults and didn’t seem to care as much about my imperfection. Me however, was as insecure as I’d ever been. I was in high school now, rolling with the big dogs-try to contain your laughter, ridiculous right?- I needed to fit in finally. It was my time to shine. Instead of shining, I was relying on my security blanket aka my hoodie. I carried that thing everywhere. Not kidding, everywhere. Even to the bathroom, in 90 degree weather, from the moment I arrived to the time I left, everywhere. If I wasn’t wearing it I was holding it over my arm like some kind of butler. It made me feel like I was hiding my arm so that people couldn’t see it-like holding or wearing a hoodie everywhere I went wasn’t odd enough. I made myself believe I was giving people a chance to get to know me, instead of focusing on me with one hand.
It wasn’t until summer going into my junior year that it clicked. I had just gotten my braces off, figured out who to call to get my hair done and started to really work out my body (sports are amazing). I was passed the ugly duckling stage you could say. But my arm was still the same. It wasn’t a phase-f*ck. I continued to grow into the person I wanted to be despite it. I had some great friends that forgot at times that I even had one arm. Kayli, remember the time you asked me to hold something with both hands and I just looked at you like you were crazy?! Yeah, that happened a lot. But I loved it. I was normal to them.
Why am I telling you this? This isn’t about my hubby’s birthday… For you to understand the love I have for this man, you have to understand the rest. Not for one second has he stopped loving me because I was missing my hand. He never had a bad thought in his mind about it. He loved me for me and that was enough-dreamy right? Sure we had bad days, who doesn’t? If you read my first post, you’ll remember I was only 19 when I met him. Bound to happen, remember?
It was when my daughter was born that I realized the capacity of love I had for Kenny. He was so good helping me recover from my c-section, quickly jumping in to help me with Lennox. The way he looks at her today is enough to melt my heart. Of course I love him because he is a good dad but also because he is my best friend. (insert lyrics for My Best Friend by Tim McGraw).
He makes me laugh, like belly laugh. He has a way with people. Friends to anyone and everyone. Even those that have let him down in the past, too forgiving he is. His heart is kind. He’d give the shirt off of his own back for the people he loves. That’s how he is. Never for a second do I have to wonder how he feels about me, he finds a way to pat me on the butt while I’m standing over the sink to prove it. Did I mention he’s a good dancer? Pre baby we’d go line dancing at the county bars and drink longnecks until last call. I might have decided I wanted to marry him on one of those nights.
My dad told me a story when I was younger, around that tough age. He told me he went to school with a girl that had one hand. She was the head cheerleader in school and her boyfriend was the quarterback of the football team. I can’t help but think that story gave me hope that one day I’d find my quarterback. I have. I got him and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you for everything you do. Thank you for loving me despite my imperfections, thank you for being a wonderful daddy to our baby girl. I love you babe, happy birthday.